The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
lets start a swedish sibling band together
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
