im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
