Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
