I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
