I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
