I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
