so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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