Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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