imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
