2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she smelled like a LAN party
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
