she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
