Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
