What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
