When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
