i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
