i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
