garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
