if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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