We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
