I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
