Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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