You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
