Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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