I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
its liver damage thursday
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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