The maid of honor just puked.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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