Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
