Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
