Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
