I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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