can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
