Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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