I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
