No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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