Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
