HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
