On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
