I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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