I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
