so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
