Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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