im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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