My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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