If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i think i just lost a toe
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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