He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
