Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize