Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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