I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
