:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
