with your own penis?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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