i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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